I’m not sure where September went (or the past six months!), but I tried to make the most of National Suicide Prevention Month. I also meant to blog more and post more during the month– about suicide– but I have learned that, in the end, whatever happened is what was supposed to be. I also know that, for me, I’m always hoping to do more and it’s hard not to begrudge myself that maybe I didn’t work harder.
I did get a guest column in the Rio Rancho Observer and a letter to the editor in the Albuquerque Journal. I still believe in the “old fashioned” newspaper to reach people and the people I know I reached are those working in the suicide grief/prevention field locally and I was able to connect with and find out what’s going on here.
I was disappointed not to get any media around the Names of Suicide Tree in Old Town at Old Town Herbal, but I also know that we got the tree up which was a great step forward in itself. I also was disappointed that my social media posts didn’t reach as many people as I had hoped.
Yet when I went to “visit” the tree after the first week it was up, Liz told me that people had been coming in randomly, that it seemed like they had been guided to her store having no clue what was there, and yet having lost someone to suicide. It didn’t occur to me in this entire process that this might happen. I was too caught up in getting the word out in “this world” that I didn’t think about my sister and all the others who have died by suicide leading their loved ones to the tree.
On Saturday when I popped up Chelle Summer in front of Old Town Herbal a woman from about the furthest part of New Mexico from Albuquerque came by to put her son’s name on the tree. She had been told about the tree from the local suicide grief group (that had kindly sent out the information to their mailing list) and it happened that she was going to be up here for a healing conference this weekend.
The loss of her young son to suicide less than six months ago was visibly still painful for her and took me back to my own pain years ago. I say that in the sense that it reminded me to be there with her, to help her know she would find healing in the journey and wouldn’t always feel the way she does now.
She thanked me for the tree and leaving it up for the entire month, something I had suggested to Liz since we can’t gather this year. We’ll leave it up another week and my hope is that people will continue to put their loved ones’ names on it.
It was a reminder to me that it there is only so much I can do and the rest I have to believe will happen just because I put it out there.