As I post this, today is World Suicide Prevention Day.
Each year I have tried to put out a message somehow related to it, usually where I see the state of prevention, having had a long string of time spent working in the field as well as, obviously, the loss of my own younger sister to suicide now 31 years ago.
But this year, the message has changed because my work has changed.
While I purposely stepped away from the field some years ago, seeing my life had changed, that I felt I had done all I could do, at some points since then I have tried to resurrect aspects of the work I’ve done. And gone nowhere.
At the end of last year, I saw things finally starting to move forward with Chelle Summer. There had been a lot of start, stop, start. While there is still that to some extent, the movement forward is going much faster and I see where I’m having to shut some doors where nothing is happening, where it’s not worth the effort to keep trying to throw things out there.
On Friday, this happened as I closed a door related to something else and (I’m not kidding!) 20 minutes later, another door opened. I had been struggled in my head, deciding whether or not to close the door, but something kept telling me to do it. So, I did and I knew when another door opened that I had done the right thing.
I also was thinking about this being September and how I wasn’t feeling the need to try to make things happen, that Chelle Summer and my writing, along with a few other activities are what make me happy. There is not an endless amount of time in life and we must choose where we best feel we are appreciated, can make a difference, whatever is important to us.
As I was contemplating this, I thought of something our Archbishop John Wester some years ago had told me. I was at an event of people who were involved in the church to meet him when he was new here. I’d been invited by friends and I explained to him that I’d run a divorced women’s group, but was no long doing it as I had gotten married and felt it was time to move on. I was feeling a bit bad about not being involved, however, he said something that has resonated with me since then.
“You’re living the it.”
And that’s exactly what Chelle Summer, my writing, and everything else I do is about. It’s about living moving forward after loss, after divorce, after a whole lot of other things that could have easily kept me down, kept me on the couch, kept me where I was in that moment. My inspiration comes from the childhood I shared with Denise, the inspiration from Mom to be creative and use color. The best I can offer this world is to continue that, to be a role model in the way I live my life and share that.
I walked outside while I was still in the midst of these thoughts and a monarch butterfly flew right in front of me, the only one I’ve seen this year.
Message heard and confirmed. Loud and clear.