The Discomfort on the Road to Success

As I made my breakfast smoothie this morning, I was streaming the Olympic coverage on Peacock (it was the end of the evening track and field session in Tokyo). David Feherty from The Golf Channel was talking about why he was never more successful playing golf. He explained that he understood that all successful people, in any field, are successful because they want to be uncomfortable. And he didn’t want to do that.

I believe this a concept that most people don’t understand– to be successful, you have to continually step out of your box and into uncharted territory. To lead a well-lived life, you need to do the same. You can’t sit back in your arm chair and watch life play out in front of you, it needs to be about your actions.

As a freshman in high school, I remember our cross country coach told us something similar. “To be a good distance runner, you will never be comfortable.” (The other bit of advice I remember from him was that we should never, ever get our shoes wet when we were running– I’m not sure which is harder– stepping out of a box or not stepping in puddles of rain when you don’t know how deep they are.)

Some years ago, I was in constant motion training people on the warning signs of suicide/how to ask people if they are suicidal. I had multiple contracts with various state and federal organizations, was working on a doctorate, and had a variety of other things happening. Each week, I was doing a presentation and I used to remark that I was constantly stepping out of my box, being forced out of my comfort zone.

It wasn’t easy but I could see, even then, how it was helping me to grow. The more I spoke, the better I got at it. And the more experiences I had that I could write about and reflect back on.

It’s okay to rest sometimes. We have to do that. Yet we also should remember that being comfortable for too long means we aren’t growing. That’s when we need to find something to challenge ourselves, something new, something that maybe we didn’t believe we could do before. That uncomfortable state means we’re heading in the right direction– we’re growing into who we all have the opportunity to be.

Challenging Myself

I always say it would be easier to stay in my box and not challenge myself. However, I know myself well enough that I get bored and that if I want to live life to the fullest (and make it more interesting), I need to continually challenge myself.

Over the past few weeks I feel as though I've stretched my brain and that I now probably need to give it a few days to catch up. 

It started with making a quinceanera dress– as close to a princess/wedding dress one can get. When I married the first time, a friend had made my dress and I had made all six bridesmaid dresses so I really didn't think it was impossible. What turned out to be tricky, however, was the fact that the pattern didn't include one piece in the directions (or the pattern pieces for that matter) and that Hannah wanted a tulle skirt. And I added a lace overlay for the bodice. I tried to stretch it out over several weeks (including a "rough draft") so that I had time if anything went badly.

A weekend ago I had planned to rest but found myself running behind and spent Saturday making a diaper bag that Saturday for an upcoming baby (another first– following the rough draft) and then working on the netting of the quinceanera dress on Sunday.

Then on Tuesday I went over to a former neighbor's house and she taught me how to make flour tortillas. She had showed me some years ago but I had long forgotten and I thought it was time I learned again, this time vowing that would practice at least once a month so they eventually look like circles and not the state of Texas.

After the tortillas had been eaten, the diaper bag arriving to a happy mom-to-be in Wyoming, and the quinceanera dress in the arms of the almost fifteen-year-old, I spent Friday on the television set of "Graves" doing background work.

To say I was exhausted that morning was an understatement. I felt as if I needed some rest but I also knew that rest was around the corner (although I didn't realize it would be fourteen hours later). I ended up with several "jobs" we'll say in the filming, but in one particular part I would be walking directly in camera view, queued by the production assistant– who was watching on a screen around the corner– when to go both times. As I stood there waiting to go with a clipboard in hand (after all, I am a doctor but I play a nurse on television), I found my mind drifting off a bit. I thought about how easy it would be to mess up. And how easy it would be not to be there. If I hadn't accepted the call, I could be home in bed, not worrying about tripped over a cable as I walked across the hallway in the hospital.

No no no, I reminded myself. Then what stories would I tell? How would I grow? And so I walked across the set in as many takes as it took, probably equaling the number of challenges I've created for myself over the past few weeks. It was well worth it.