I felt a surge of happiness last week after a trip to Sam’s Club and I saw the swimming pool supplies had arrived. Then I found cherries. On Friday, I picked up our free seeds from the Albuquerque Library. Spring, I thought, spring is coming.
I wrote last week about the challenge I feel during these winter months, but seeing signs of spring made me feel a bit lighter and more hopeful that warmth and green are ahead.
As I felt brighter though, I know many people find the signs of renewal of spring a challenge. That’s why we typically have more suicides in spring, especially March, than other months of the year. While the holiday season can be a struggle because people tend to gather more and be together more, there aren’t as many suicides as in the spring.
This year will mark thirty years since my sister Denise died by suicide age 17. I can still remember the days after her death and through her funeral in the Midwest– the darkness and the brown, very appropriate for our sadness.
But the day after I returned to college at Ball State and in the days that followed, I remember the sun shining and those very signs of spring that bring me hope. I also remember thinking that for her, those were the signs that made it harder to continue moving forward.
I don’t just grasp my signs of hope in spring, I cling to them. Just remember that what brings you hope, might not be the same for someone else. Give them that space for their pain because sometimes that’s all they need– for someone to acknowledge where they are.