Chelle Summer

Seeking Light

Michelle Rusk

I was waking up in the middle of the night and somehow managed to turn my brain on each time and couldn’t turn it off. It was like the vintage vegetable juicer on my counter– the motor is so strong that you can toggle the switch off and unplug it, but it takes a while before it stops spinning.

I worried about anything and everything, But after I’d get up and and when I finally made it to my desk to start my work part of the day, I’d look around at the sunshine coming into my office through the windows and all the color and I’d think, “I feel good. Everything is okay.”

It was the darkness, I realized. The darkness was making me worry and it was my job to find the light around me, even in the darkness.

Then last week I was feeling exhausted from my long morning workout routine. Because we aren’t going away for spring break next week, a week I usually take off from running and swimming (we go for morning walks instead), I thought it was a good week not to go on my run. I ran the dogs and swam instead, using that extra time between to keep caught up on things around the house (why does the vacuum cleaner hose always go out when I have other things I want to do?).

After setting my clocks forward and going to bed extra early on Sunday night, I found myself ready for Monday. I believe that the extra rest last week prepared me for the time change this week.

I see a lot of struggle around me for so many reasons as our world continues to shift and change. We’re want things to even out, we want to rest. And yet we can’t because we’re trying to make our way forward at the same time.

When we can’t take a big rest, find small change in your routine that will give you some rest. Sometimes just the change in routine is enough to help us find our energy again.

And when you are stuck in the darkness– feel like you’re in rut, stressed about everything, feeling like everything is depressing– find your light. What is it that makes you happy? What gives you energy? Sitting in the sun is a place to start and might be a way to get a little rest and find inspiration at the same time.