I am very careful about what say and how I say it. I know how easily things can be misconstrued because each of us views the world differently.
I have been a little overwhelmed the last few weeks and I have about two weeks ahead of me before it eases up. That said, I want to clarify that a lot of good things are happening and I’m grateful I have events to take Chelle Summer items to sell at and that there are quite a few people glad to see me, have conversations with me, and come to my house for a party.
Still, it’s the season of Advent and this is the time of year when I feel closest to God. I was at the Norbertine Monastery Friday to meet with Fr. Gene for my spiritual direction and telling him that I’ve been struggling a bit with not taking enough time to enjoy the season. I always hear that we should step back during the holidays because it’s about Jesus, not commercialism.
The reality for me is that I have a small window that will shut in January for a few months and it will paralyze my income for a time. I’ve been making so much stuff over the pandemic and I want to share it with the world.
Fr. Gene reminded me that Advent is a season of giving to others and he asked, “Isn’t much of what you do for others?”
“Yes,” I said, thinking about everything I’ve made and the parties I host. “It’s my time to give back to everyone for the year. It’s like the culmination of a year of prayers.”
“You are an instrument of giving to others,” he added.
This brought me so much relief because I had felt that but somewhere inside me I had also doubted it. But what most people don’t know is that I talk to God, to Our Lady of Guadalupe, asking for guidance with my sewing, with my writing. They are part of everything I make that I share with others. I just needed someone to say it to me outside my head (a place that sometimes gets me in trouble!).
I am happy to give to others. I like knowing I’m sharing color, happiness, and inspiration. And I’m looking forward to seeing what next year brings. After a break. Maybe.